She seeks a blue sky devoid of memory
The bright sun framed
Sea walls that tower over the world.
But I feel a subtle wind
The slight shudder of a hesitant knock
A knock that shatters the soul of an afternoon.
Do not tremble, small one that lives in the shadow of a tree root
The axis mundi is deliberate reality,
It walks only to walk,
And if its feet are heavy on the ground
It is only because it's feet have weight and gravity is a simple messenger.
Perhaps to the meek, the truth will be kind.
And the stones are worn round by water
And the stones are worn smooth by tides
My skin is rough,
Thirty years plus one do not bring congruence to my uneven utterance.
Let the final flowers fall,
For they perish in the summer wind
And winter comes like a flood
Do not let the autumn of the soul strike without warning
For our lost thoughts are like dead leaves that nightly fall in silence
The earth shall embrace them.
For the Father said
In the name of,
And the son said,
Of the Father,
The Holy ghost said,
Amen,
(a puff of dust, a sparrow falls- is there remembrance? or
the dissonant but steady march of random selection)
Mea culpa, mea culpa!
Mi amor, my small sweet one.
A drop of red below a tiny beak
The feather-light form is framed on the dust
An empty plain is the canvas.
Who will save us?
An existential piece? If my interpretation is correctly...
ReplyDeletePlease can you explain the poem to me a little more.
(In my settings page, I can see you wrote a really interesting comment regarding Annie Dillard, but I must have coincidentally deleted my post as you were writing the comment, wish I hadn't deleted the poem now! In my usual questioning nature, I just thought it was a little 'heavy' so hit the delete button!)
*wink* I just saw your comment but at this exact moment I am pressed for time... I will give you a good answer tomorrow. ( :
ReplyDeleteshing Lin yoong, pardon this question, but when I address you should I say Shing or Lin? I noticed the Lin was capped but the other parts of your name were not... just wondering.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was good- a shame you deleted it, but I understand. Poetry comes from deep within, and sometimes it can have a "thud" to it. It was a good poem though, and if you were interested in Annie Dillard, here is the link to her amazing essay: http://www.billemory.com/dillard/dillard.html
In regard to my own poem... it is more of an existential piece, but also quite a bit of subconscious delving. This poem was akin to reaching into a hole in the ground and straining with my fingers to pluck several pebbles out from the darkness. I would be curious to see your analysis... there are times I write and then have to figure out what I have written. Often I will write without an intent in mind, and keep "balancing" the poem like in a painting, where you have to instinctively balance your colors and shapes, like an artistic feng shui.
Cont.
Cont.
ReplyDeleteInitially, I think it might be about a woman who seeking an inner absolution of her past life, but honestly I think it is a dialogue within myself. The memories are heavy, they are like sea walls looming over her. She wants a simple new start, the sun framed within the sky. But there are things which cannot be forgotten or easily forgive, and they come knocking on the door when all she wants is peace... hence shattering the soul of her afternoon. Afternoon hints that this might also be about the waning years of her life, the desperation to pull it back together to a certain purpose. But then, when I speak, b/c later I reference my age, I am definitely part of the poem and her life... so the small one who lives in the shadow of the tree root is, I think, a tender image of vulnerability. The tree is a symbol of the universal, possibly the world tree, all of humanity, because of it one-breath proximity with axis mundi, the cosmic pillar/world root... it is seen as a place of communication between heaven and earth, which could also mean my consciousness talking with my sub/unconscious, trying to come to terms with something. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axis_mundi. I guess I am saying, Don't let this destroy you, it is karma, it is action-reaction, it is not personal. Just the natural consequences. If she accepts that, things will go more kindly perhaps. Then I think I make an allusion to her and all of us as stones worn by this stream of life or the axis mundi, the karmic flow of events... although I seem to exclude myself, saying my life poetry is still uneven, I have not achieved the balance I have sought. (lol hopefully you are still with me here)at this point, I could get Jungian, b/c I seem to be talking about a female, but I am also referencing myself, so this could be my anima, and the struggle between my male conscious self and the deep inner anima... which would make this whole poem into a dialogue between my conscious and subconscious and maybe even unconscious. I think the next stanza is speaking about acceptance again, even if be a death or winter of the previous memories or past beliefs. All seasons have their time, and the best thing to do it accept reality but be aware of what is happening. The doxology of sorts is providing the beginning of closure to the poem, as well as a bit of TS Eliot experimentation, not to mention during this time I was breaking down my old religious paradigms, thus a hint of flippancy. The sparrow reference is one more spastic gasp of panic at the changes, the surging return of old memory... perhaps the dying of one form of self with the eternal part of the self offering assurance, although there is a possibility that this is but the blind chance of random selection and evil acts of the demiurge. I guess the whole thing is a dialogue, a struggle? perhaps an internal wrestling with identity/belief, so that toward the end it goes down to single blows, and sadly, the sparrow falls to the ground in dissolution, and their is genuine sorrow from the one who gives the final blow (mea culpa). We go back to the first metaphor, except now instead of clear sky and the bright sun it is a dead sparrow on an empty plain. For me, fallen sparrows are a symbol of a divine mercy through this seeming random cruelty of the world. When the sparrow dies and no one mourns but myself, and I think that sparrow is a part of me, then there is a real feeling of "why have you forsaken me."
Well, perhaps you received more than you asked, but that was my attempt. I am curious as to your initial take on this. Like I said, at least half of what I write is just "reaching up into the sky until I latch onto something... the writing is simpling reeling it in and untangling the words as I go." Have a great day shing Lin yoong!
Hello! You can call me Shing :)
ReplyDeleteGreat reply. My thoughts were different...
I really liked how nature was metaphorically represented alongside the relationship. My interpretation was that this poem was the deterioration of a relationship, and you reflected this subtly through seasonal change:
'She seeks a blue sky devoid of memory' (desires something new (as you too said)) But where she 'seeks' you 'feel':
'I feel a subtle wind/The slight shudder of a hesitant knock'.
Which perpetuates the feeling that the man (you perhaps?) is of the attitude 'don't fall at the fight hurdle/drunk not on the ease of life but by the punches it gives back' and is cemented further with the line:
'And the stones are worn smooth by tides' you are still ‘smooth' by the hardness of 'tides' where she is 'round' by 'water'.
But then the tone shifts. To use axis mundi in a looser sense of the word, when you are in a relationship you move on the same axis, when differences emerge, this puts your own balance off-centre with your natural mechanisms and connections with the universe, so the realisation that the relationship should stop is acknowledged with:
'Let the final flowers fall'. And again you turn to the natural world which is a remedy for you:
'The earth shall embrace them'.
(That's the beauty of poetry isn't it? A plethora of images and interpretations. I hope you managed to follow my ramblings)
The only thing that for me doesn't fit in the tone of my interpreation is the last line 'Who will save us?' Since I feel the bird represents the beginning of a fresh start (the irony- in death (break-up) there is a new beginning)
Well Shing, I like your explanation too. There are probably overtones to this poem, b/c in a very real way at that time, my entire world view and identity were breaking apart. Several years ago, everything that I had thought was true, all that had been sacred was turned upside down; my entire world was spinning apart in shreds, like a pot disintegrating on a potters wheel... personally, someone I was very close to nearly committed suicide, so there was a tumultuous upheaval down every avenue of my life.
ReplyDeleteSo... being totally objective, you picked up on things my introspective subjective-self missed. I think I always tru to relate my personal struggles to the universal, I probably overlook some of the personal elements- ironic, because most poetry is often weighted to the distinctly personal.
Thanks for taking time to try and understand it. ( :